Life_Less_Ordinary

well long time no see

2005-07-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

you know ranting is what I do best therefore....in the begining there was these people right then there came others our parents then you and me and crap like that. why do things that seem super simple get ultra complicated? response: life. you should take deep breath and look back at the way things have changed since the last time you noticed how much time has passed by. I always complain that I haven't found the one for me but why and i so concerned? I'm afraid of being alone or is it that the fear of the future being so near with every passing moment minutes of my life are fading....age is catching up and i'm afraid i have a lot of plans for my future and hope that i can accomplish all of them we will see... writing later i guess........................

Pic

2005-07-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

Ah! I like the picture....

You are a demon!Positive-You are smart in tactics or just going into
something and you usually end up successful.Negative-You tend to be mean and push people around.

What is your inner magical being???<font>
brought to you by

2005-07-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

Heres a quiz I took kinda suites me but not really::::

You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either
lost somebody you love or somebody broke you
heart so bad that you can't pick up the
shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You
think nobody can heal your wounds but don't
stop looking because you never know who loves
you enough to try hell the one special guy
could be right infront of your eyes and you
don't even know it.You also love to day dream
because it seems like the only place that makes
you happy.But little do you know that people
all around you are trying to make you happy and
you won't let them in fearing you'll get
another heartbreak or get hurt worse.But just
try and if things go wrong just brush it off
and try again.It never hurts to try.One more
thing never let that lost love one leave you
heart keep them in forever and keep their
memory alive.

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)

2005-07-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

I went on a blog search thing an I found this in one of the blogs and liked it its food for thought. Its awesome.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ~Author Unknown

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together. ~Author Unknown

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. ~Author Unknown

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~Jack Handey

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. ~Quentin Crisp

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. ~Author Unknown

We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse. ~Author Unknown

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

We spend all our youth making money, then we spend all our money buying back youth.~Some celeb

There is no finish line. ~Nike advertisement

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. ~Henry Van Dyke

There's nothing certain in a man's life except this: That he must lose it. ~Aeschylus, Agamemnon

I knew a man who once said, "death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back." ~From the movie Gladiator

The graveyards are full of indispensable men. ~Charles de Gaulle

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~Author Unknown

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~Abraham Lincoln

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ~Lily

Give up

2005-06-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

Give up
This is it
The only thing we have left
I am glad that I know you
but this is goodbye
this is the end
of the good times we had

You know that, that you left me empty
With a just memory
of the lips that crashed on moonlite night sometime in november
The bay waves licked our face as the glare in our eyes pierced our insides
leaving now just the memory, so this is goodbye
This is goodbye to you
To us that never had a chance
for more than a glance of a dream
by the bay in your car
on that night which was the first and last time

The last time that I saw you again
This is over done I know but
you crushed it with your hands while gentle staring back at me
In december
Thanx for the gift santa
Your so kind to let me go

Give up
This is it this goodbye to what was once us...
You don't know what I do or what to do with me
I miss your glare and the stare
that knocked me on my knees
you don't know what i do or what to do with me
I'm just here yelling hoping you'll here me---

AH~~~~~~!!!!!!!

2005-06-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

AH! I'm stuck in a shell of life and nothing ever stops or breaks.
Habit it is something thats painted on the wall of the brain.
Infinite words that are allowed to spit from the tip of the tongue thats in my mouth.
Bleeding in pain from the bite of yesterday.
I don't know who to trust anymore. .
I'm so tired of all the lies and everything in between.
Just take me and throw it all way.
My insides feel like a junk-yard of childhood dreams.
Tied up in all of today misery.
Engima is everything that happens in an unexplainable way.
I hate me! I hate you! I hate this!
Just become a buttterfly on a flower that overflows with light.
My warnings are ignored even though they are so clear.
I have a every glass on my shelf full of negative lies that trap me.
Here in this hell! HELP ME~!

I can't stand it++++

2005-06-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

You ever wonder why life is so not like what you want it to be.
I can't pretend to lie away and turn back to be pushed aside.
I don't want to be alone anymore in this little room called me.
Stop fending the truth!
The truth is this I want to find the person that needs me.
I want to feel wanted in the same way I want.
I hate the fact that life is just a game of give and take.
I don't want to tell others of sad stories or feelings.
I want to feel that high of life.
The one that only few get to taste.
I don't know what it feels like to be there but I've had a small taste.
I was happy for that second.
People talk crap while I'm not around but thats what happens when you human.
What can you say? Everything you want. Anything you want.
Prove me wrong!
Go ahead and try.
I can't write about a happy thought cause my laugh is fake and my smile weak.
So this is the vida that I know...

Well would tell all you friends that you've got a gun to my head......

2005-04-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

You know its amazing how people lie to themselves all the time. Daily we sit around and hope that there's something better then this...but in reality there ain't! It just seems that if you add up all the wrong and subtract all the right you've done.Divide that by all the things that were wrong that you really wanted to do you end up here wishing for something new. Its quit the feat we pull off...all the things that i really want i don't have but i replace it with material things that don't really make me happy and take up my time....Ain't life grand....

Poem again:
Its so easy to say--
Much harder to explain--

Lost some friend I barely knew--
Lock myself inside this cave--

WAITING for something to trigger the right in me---
HOPING for life to get much easier then this--

Its all my fault again--
Its all my fault again--

They tell Jo open up your window--
Lets go out and play--

But I'm locked inside this cave--
I am I alone again?--

I lost some friend I barely knew--
And its my fault--
again--

After thought before work....

2005-04-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

Well I had a really long day yesterday but it was cool. I got to talk to someone that I never talked to and it was cool. Have you ever felt like you talking to a mirror image of yourself only were you didn't succeed this person did. well there's one catch this person is a boy (=_=;)... but its cool to see someone of the other sex that thinks like you do...I don't feel as alone in my train of thought but who knows...
I would reall like to get to know him more he's really cool. I hope maybe that guy thats out there for me i'm able to find with some of the inner qualities of those around me....Okay well thats all for now I just was really happy about my after thought and my afternoon of getting to know someone knew that wasn't really (-_-)

Strings around us

2005-04-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

In truth we are but strings in some simplified way. Its funny we set around romancing life for hundreds of years then Poof! science makes life dark and depressing by introducing some strange theory...

2-day,2-marrow...tomatoe, tamatoe

2005-04-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

Respect its the most out sung word in the english language. Why is it some important you ask? Well, its becuase with out respect in the world we would just be a non-intelligent life from. Even animals respect each other its the circle-o- life or the food chain they live by. Yet, they are still able to respect it with out knowing the really name of it. Even survival of the fittest in a sense is some kind of respect. The strong you are the longer you live the more feared you are. Its funny how fear and turn into respect at some point.

okay here we go get ready for education here is and article cut short by brain greene on string theory:

"According to string theory, if we could examine particles with even greater precision—a precision many orders of magnitude beyond our present technological capacity—we would find that each particle is not pointlike but instead consists of a tiny, one-dimensional loop. Like an infinitely thin rubber band, each particle contains a vibrating, oscillating, dancing filament that physicists have named a string."-Brian Greene
heres the pic http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/images/ever_thumb_illustration.jpg

"From one principle—that everything at its most microscopic level consists of combinations of vibrating strands—string theory provides a single explanatory framework capable of encompassing all forces and all matter."-same

"String theory proclaims, for instance, that the observed particle properties—that is, the different masses and other properties of both the fundamental particles and the force particles associated with the four forces of nature (the strong and weak nuclear forces, electromagnetism, and gravity)—are a reflection of the various ways in which a string can vibrate..."-same

For the first time in the history of physics we therefore have a framework with the capacity to explain every fundamental feature upon which the universe is constructed. For this reason string theory is sometimes described as possibly being the "theory of everything" (T.O.E.) or the "ultimate" or "final" theory. These grandiose descriptive terms are meant to signify the deepest possible theory of physics—a theory that underlies all others, one that does not require or even allow for a deeper explanatory base.-same

"The reductionist philosophy easily ignites heated debate. Many find it fatuous and downright repugnant to claim that the wonders of life and the universe are mere reflections of microscopic particles engaged in a pointless dance fully choreographed by the laws of physics. Is it really the case that feelings of joy, sorrow, or boredom are nothing but chemical reactions in the brain—reactions between molecules and atoms that, even more microscopically, are reactions between some of the fundamental particles, which are really just vibrating strings?"

Okay conclusion to that article i was reading:
Almost everyone agrees that finding the T.O.E. would in no way mean that psychology, biology, geology, chemistry, or even physics had been solved or in some sense subsumed. The universe is such a wonderfully rich and complex place that the discovery of the final theory, in the sense we are describing here, would not spell the end of science.
Quite the contrary: The discovery of the T.O.E.—the ultimate explanation of the universe at its most microscopic level, a theory that does not rely on any deeper explanation—would provide the firmest foundation on which to build our understanding of the world. Its discovery would mark a beginning, not an end. The ultimate theory would provide an unshakable pillar of coherence forever assuring us that the universe is a comprehensible place. -Greene

I find it amusing to see that life is just a pointless dance. The universe is just having a big brainless party. Creating things for those with eyes to be entertained with...=_=;

Here we go again

2005-04-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

Well today was full of fun I ran into my ex with no intention of doing it for the first or maybe second time ever...He looked really cute but then again to me he always does...i think i'm starting to get angry that i met him i was better off in lala land or candy land it might have been more fun after the experience...don't you think?

why does life like to play with me....I hate this carp (yes carp another way of saying waste in a censored language)....I feel toy-ed with a bit and maybe like if life is like, okay for you life will be a joke.You will live as if everyday is april fools...I'm like DIE....why the hell does it always seem like i'm the fool in some stupid nightmare that I can't wake from....

Its like another job only its permanent and i can't leave ever. i can't ever see my boss cuase geuss what we are to assume that he does exist only we can't see him ever....okay maybe when we die...

Faith is a mofo you know...it messes with peoples heads and stuff...believe me humans running the faith is worse...I have rumor to believe that as long as life continues we will continue to mess up, crash, burn, become dirt, over and over for all time till one day we mess up so much that BOOM! we kill everything and no longer does life exist until BOOM! AGAIN! =_=; another big bang and not the fun kind happens...

Whats the point of going over and over these stupid trivial pursit kinda things? well we could assume that is down to intellecutal thought that occurs every once and awhile. Its like the one great cup of coffee ( i don't drink but most relate better to it) that you had this time that you were craming for an exam or research for work or over working yourself again. You remember it was great but you never get it again. You wish you could remember where or how it was made but you don't. Its that experience of that thought process the taste buds, memory, and digestion conclusion. It kinda sounded like ramble but trust me it wasn't. some how it'll make sense....

I saw this nerd guy that was in my psychology class last semester...its so awesome he looks like a classic movie nerd... kathy and I would see him when we would walk to class lol you think that people don't really look like that but they do...black plastic glasses extreme Kate Moss thin build, tight jeans and converse with some kind of polo shirt messy hair and even the funny walk. It great its super awesome i wish i could have taken a picture....

okay have like three mintues till i have to talk about myself with someone that i don't even know lol....

Poem agian:

I ran into the memory of a happy thought
Then i took flight
like peter pan out the window of its eye
I lost it all
left it all behind me the pains of growing up
With just a memory of a happy thought

All the things that I lost
The future of lost things that will come
all flashed as i flew by with this
With one memory of a happy thought

AH its today AGAIN T_T

2005-04-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

Tears in my eyes
Lost and loney in this river
my body's floating
With the current
bottled all my fears
up in a cabin
still here waiting now

Why do we even bother
time is runinng out
it's running out right now
it just keeps on ticking and passing by

Whats the purpose of existing
to seduce the romance of life
it's a bitter sweet romance
swallows you in whole

We are only here for a limited time offer
special on isle number four.....

Ever feel like you were the rice in a fruit basket? The one thing that just doesn't fit in....The one time that you think that life is worth something another thing comes along and takes it all way....or you just don't fit in the puzzle....

I feel down and out....dazed and confused .....I feel like i'm being sucked into this blackhole and its riping up my atoms and i'm fading piece by piece...spining out of control....I have no idea why i feel worthless or why i'm loathing....I don't feel like doing a damn thing and I don't give a rats azz.... what happens....thats not right I just don't understand whats going on? whats wrong with me? why do I feel the need to run away and not exist and to forget every thing that i know...I want to start over clean.... with out a trace of hate or thought i just want to live in my own way....whats so wrong with that ? is my way wrong should i hate being my me so much? genes suck azz and so does being lost and controlled...cenored about life i'm tired of not knowing was wrong with me i've been feeling like this for like two weeks whats up with that?

Walking Thinking Wasting Time

2005-03-23T09:16:00.000-08:00

Song:
You, you want nothing to do with me
I, I don't know what to do with you
cause you, don't know what to do to me
Baby is this love for real
let me in your arms to feel
the beating of your heart baby
You, you really got your hold on me
You, you gotta get away from me
cause you, you want nothing to do with me
in spite of you, even out of view
still I love all of you, I do yeah...
Baby is this love for real
let me in your arms to feel
the beating of your heart baby-HA

Okay so I was thinking relationships are totally over-rated. But Y? Y do we in joy being in them or want something in some future or now? You know why cause we are all a bunch of stick f98ks that why. I just want a guy thats good looking in some way (you know alright, not to shaby), with a beautiful heart, and wants to be with me. Is that so damn freakin wrong?!?!?!?!?
I've only been in an extreme few, very few amounts of realtionships.Just to not stupid lets say I can count them in a hand. Yes one hand please keep you laughing to a minium. I not done.

But I liked it execpt the mini drama other than that it was cool. Being with someone that looks at you in a unique way then they view the rest of the world is awesome. I miss it. But if everytime I try its just to fail F87k it! you know. Besides i'm young and adventurous I don't want to be to easy to catch.

I've made a lot of mistakes but I knew that I messed up but whatever. They were stupid guys anyway with no means of the type of guy I want. But I had met 2 that if I could melt them into one guy it would be perfect. To bad you can't go shoping for men you know. I could take them to the seamstress and have them adjusted into one prefect guy. wouldn't that be awesome?

Drowing, I'm Drowing

2005-03-23T09:08:00.000-08:00

Song of the day:
Somebody help me get out of this place
Too many words that confuse what I say
Calling in the victims of probable cause
Give me the keys to get out of this box-SC

Please note that song of the day is so no the title if you want it let me know. At any rate...

Mood: Super Bored =_=;

Okay so yeah the worlds not a perfect place. I get it we are all screwed for the rest of our lives. A few years that is. We live this long ''--" with this much "----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------" to do and we never do everything. Granted there really ain't that much time. But I'm sure we don't make that much of an effort for it. I ran into an old "friend" I would say enemy more than anything he was being nice for the hell of it I think. I was hoping to never i mean NEVER run into someone that i knew but f87k it happens. When I lease expect it to happen also. The world is a small place to be in. I feel like i'm in this box that has a black hole in it.Everythingjust gets sucked into a void or some small space. Poof! its all gone.

In a blink of an eye life Poof! disappears with out a trace and your still standing there doing nothing bored out of your mind.

Watch Out!

2005-03-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

Your choking my neck--
Tear drops of blood--
Fall down my throat--

Your grip is getting tighter--

Squeeze out the blood--
Drippin down from your fingers--
I am lost here alone--
Still waitin--

For you to say your sorry--

Losen--
Your grip--
There is a whole--
On my chest--

Why don't you take my heart out?--

Stomp on my heart--
To save the day--
I have been warned--
Danger, Danger--
Ms. Robinson--

Go ahead and leave my island--

You won't be questioned--
You've broken everything--
I thought it would be you--

How could I've been so wrong--

Buried Alive

2005-03-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

Music:
I Push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I am today...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah! -Slipknot
Mood: Grrr.....

Ain't that a kick A$$ song. It makes you want to walk, dance, and scream...You know that I haven't really done much the past few days...
But I did decided to write this out so here enjoy............=
You and I
Woke up in your nightmare--
Yelled and screamed yet you didn't hear--
The cry coming from the end -
Of the tunnel you were in-
Drowned in your minds eye--

Wrapped in a sweet embrace
Was it you or some other guy?
We'll know if thats the case
I don't know where I'm going
Its okay if its just you and I

Hate your stupid smile
Everything is not okay
Your smirck is a kind reality
Bit me on the wrong side of my bed
I walked away to see
What you had said
And found your love of yesterday
Neatly on my bed

Don't know where I'm going
Its okay as long if its you and I
Together on the way--

okay the end =_=;

This is about the last time I felt confused and just didn't know what to do I felt as if something clenched on to my ankle and didn't let me move on but I know that somethings out there and i'm not alone all the time. Cause creation couldn't have just been horny people from the begining or was it?
Well adam, eve i hope you guys had fun....

New Stuff

2005-03-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

I've been super busy and computerless for like almost a month so yeah my writing as died... but I talked to my friend and I felt like writing even more... I just realized that even though no one reads I can still write and have fun...This helps get rid of the stress...so ha!

Anyway the story i was writing will be temp. paused lol...

Here we go agian story continues....

2005-02-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

Ch.1 Part 1 Continues....

Her curls remained in the same spot with exception of her blow dryed bangs. She then as turned faced the car "Sh*t! I can't believe this just happened." she said as she nodded her head.In her mind she thought What the hell is wrong with girl? What the F*** was she thinking? I can believe it at all. I'm so scared right now for my life and I have to get back in the car with her...Why? Why does this have to happen? I so want to go back home right now...

Well, soon enough we got back in the car drove off. I had a ticket for ignoring a traffic light in my pocket and the front of my driver-side dented in.I was not in a happy mood. I took everyone to there home and went home to find my mom hadn't gotten there yet. My brother and I called her up but she seemed fine. "It happens everyone so don't worry about it. Espere que yo lo vea para ver lo que se va hacer." she said in the great language of Miami Spanglish. That would take a whole other paragraph to explain. In short she told me to wait til she got home to see what could be done about my car.

The great thing about being Cuban-American is that your parents alway have some stupid way of doing things. I mean that with all respect and load so of sarcasim. What I meant by "some stupid way" they always go in a around about issues and have to decide things as a group. You are never and indivdual, you are a piece of a big pie. If a pie is not together it isn't whole therefore its not hispanic. I know that wasn't a good example but I go will explain the Cuban way of things as we life goes on. One problem turns into millions in a split second. One word can turn into a large family fued with no refree.....

well I'm going to watch a movie so I'm come back to this later...I think when I'm done I'll edit it instead of a piece at a time...

Lost By MySelf

2005-02-20T00:19:00.000-08:00

Note: Just in case you care some of this story is true but things have been changed.....

Chapter 1 Part 1

Life truly begins when you get one. Of course not when you've been spitted out of a vigina.Then smacked by some U.F.O. that's attached to someone with a white coat or is it blue scrubs? It doesn't really at this point. It begins when you're given the freedom of a car. Yes, a car.
Imported, Had One Never Did Again, Honda Civic Coupe candie apple red.Its parked at your front door step looking at you through the window. The time when highschool drama ends and college drama begins. Just when you thought things would go great they just got worse.

The day that highshcool ended it was the happiest and saddest moment of my life. It was the time that I had really thought about the aging process. Damn I'm old. Its when you can no longer refer to someone at the age of 21 as the cool old person. Dude your there in like 4 years which sounds like a long time but trust me its not. You have now crossed the right of page into the college arena and it ain't to pretty.

Well the first two days driving was awesome for get it is awesome.Not not mention the totally super clueless thing I did which was not fun at all. I decided to go out for the first time in my car with my brother and some friends. Why did I leave that damn door open that day? Well to end the life of my car of course and create a fear of driving. Kat, Jessy, Frank and I went in my car to close the front door of my house. Saves the Day played the background as stupid me took a red light and end the life for like a week. But no one was hurt. We get out of the car to find that what crashed into me was some old lady with a mess of stuffed toys attached to here rear view mirror. My legs couldn't stop shaking if they shook anymore my knee caps would have flown off.

Officer Sparky came out to us asked a few questions and left. He was around his early thirties,with a shawdow looking bread. He had the beer donut look to his belly not very attrative to say the least. Jessy took the lead when it came to speech she is always very good when it came to English. Her thick redish dyed hair blew in her face as she stood facing sparky explaining what has just happened.Kat calmed and relaxed as always just laughed it away. Collectively cool would discribe her the best. Her curls remained in the same spot with...

I'll add to this later and edit...

Today I Screwed Up Again...

2005-02-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

For now I think that i will right something like sex in the city only about life and maybe some sex lol ....well it will begin now... I'll post the story in dark blue... enjoy....

HA!!!!!

2005-02-18T02:30:00.000-08:00

"The Sharp Hint Of New Tears"
On the way home,
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
This weather.
The wind outside is biting.
It has left me feeling tired & exposed.
You've been asking me to bleed.
It seems these kinds of questions
They come too easy to you now.
Your lack of shame comes naturally.
I should not be suprised.
I should have seen it sooner.-DC

Ain't that a great song? I love him. Well I'm feelin like righting so I guess that I well these are the deep feelings that I'm workin' with at the moment.............................................................

Secrets
I feel like leaving a bored confession
but it'll probly turn out to be lies.
More room we have inside the closet
the more junk we put inside.

Where did real me go?
I lost her in a closet
oh sometime ago
Waiting for a warning
Dreaming for more

All thats left is sad memeories and regrets
I've made the right decision
an incision in my mind
a cut that bleeds forever
never get weak or die...

Stand still remembering my last confession
all the things that I must've said
Sad secrets sharper than a knife
I feel sorry
How long till it all ends?

Small Request

2005-02-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

You know that people really suck...So I have a small request why don't you rollover and die...I hate the fact that good people always just walk over to you and they're ignored due to the fact of "social acceptance". That whole thing of "your not cool enough" is totally over rated. Why would you want to continue a highschool like life. Whats the point of being stuck to one point in time. I wish that I couldn't age pass 21 but that doesn't mean I would want to be stuck in one time zone.

You know that the thought of being an eternal being is kind of enticing. But then again watching those around leave to never return ever really isn't my kind of thing. Hey, there's a price to pay for everything. Nothing in this life is free.

Random St. Part1
Driving around in the streets of Miami with dropped windows. The time passed as quickly as the wind in my hair. Reminded of all the bad history with relationships and things gone wrong. The rage inside my mind drives me mad. I can't contain the anger, disappointment of life as it continues. "I hate you! I HATE YOU!" thats all that comes out of my mouth when it opens. I dispise being toyed with I'm not a tool. Smashing the dashboard with my confession I remember one thing and thats no matter what happens now later is still to come. Everything comes and goes like the wind. Only one thing stays true and that is me.

What if...

2005-02-02T10:26:00.000-08:00

If you had never
kissed me--
I wouldn't miss you
like I do--
Why did you go
and touch me--
With your
stupid poison lies--
They're just as Rancid
as pestaside--

I hate this stupid feeling
Aching inside--
Burn out of my chest
in the fire of your eyes--
Looking away to what we were then
and what could have been--
Just then a rain drop
from my eye down to my cheek--
I hate everything
That wasn't meant to be--

History

2005-02-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

I had this posted in another journal that died so I think I should post it here cause I liked it...

Well humanity as a whole is lacking in train of thought for they think that life continues on in which case it does... but! the point that I'm getting at is the simple fact that time is infinite but we are not... Life is much shorter and a minute is a lot of time to waste...If people would know the day that they would die the world would be in total chaos although it still is but it would be much worse..when you state that you have the whole day in a sense its true...but what if you only had an hour of that day and within that hour things just seem to get out of control and you no longer exist..I mean we, and yes i do mean humanity as a whole, tend to think that life is something that must be given a meaning it must be defined...movies and logical sense allows us to believe that maybe when we are at the point of death our life will flash before our eyes, a light at the end of a tunnel will show up and life would be explained...I have only know of one mircale thru out my life time and it is this:creation if a God truly does exist the only true mircale he or she did preform it is creation...creation of all things and life...Taking life for granted is something that we all do against our better judgement...we take for granted all the comforts of our home, those that surround us like family and friends, the lauxaries (sorry can't spell) in our life... Everyone thinks I can wait till tomarrow or next year to say or do anything I have my whole life ahead...but what if? what if you didn't what if you don't? "someone once said live life to the fullest, live your everday as if it were your last" now if we could would we...people often lie to themselves saying I must become I must do I must...you must only live thats the only thing that you were put here to do Yes the world is creul and our loved ones will not be here forever and will no longer exist one day and may not be with us right now but for every person in our life that is taken another thing comes along to replace the lost although it won't ever erase it completely...In away life and the world is ironic...We wake to find our sandles next to our beds and later brush our teeth and shower..soon after we eat breakfest and walk out the door either to be educated or to work...The huddled masses unite everyday almost exactly repeating what do for the rest of our lives, content/uncontent happy/unhappy the only way that we get to be either one is by the path that we choose..Just maybe we do have a set fate or destiny if that is so I believe we get to choose it... it is set based on our choices (thats the greatness of freedom)...Life is a risk its a risk we are all willing to take now living it is a risk some people are scared to make...I may lack in experience about life but I do know one thing the only flaw in humanity is not that we are evil/good but that we can't be alone being with friends, in relationships, having companionship of some kind is something that is need in order to live a long life and enjoy it... being able to share things with others having to have other around us is humanities flaw and power...

Read This

2005-02-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

No Title
Excuse me!
I shop in the same space to
Rolling eyes are watching you
Then the loud speaker sounds off--.
" Good morning shoppers!
There is a special in this isle its called tip of the day Get A Life"

Then the guests come over for dinner
Serving large white plates and a center piece
Small french foods out of an ethnic store
someone stands out of the chair
Then the fork bangs against the glass--
"May I have your attention please will the real friend please stand up"

Shopping around is what life is like
Looking for the one big sale
Like catch27 trading cards, a social disaster

Walk out side to get the paper
The ice cream man passes by
The music is off but there is a faint voice--
"Get a life its not so nice for 25 cents or a dollar. Get a life its like window shopping or going on a shopping spree. Get a life its yours to take but don't blame me for what happens after"

Its the Story of My Life

2005-02-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

Shitty music, censored voices, and laughs in the background of my mind. I feel stupid, my life is stupid and meaningless. Meanlingless like the words that have zero effect on anyone. I wonder if anyone listens to my ramble. Does anyone even care? What the point of being hear with nothing to do? If every person I want to be with drifts on there own? I don't want to be misunderstood but what is this? I don't know what this is? life.

F87K Life and all its stupid choices and process...Why even care about whats going on? Can't I just move on, on my own. Why do I need to have someone to talk to? Why do I want a smile thats meant for me?

My grammer is kinda rusty so excuse me for making bad sentances or spell wrong.

THE TRUTH IS THAT DON'T REALLY CARE!

Thought of the day....

2005-02-01T15:47:00.000-08:00

Random Story
Walking around with a half step glide in red converse shoes. Stepping into the large ballrooms within the Biltmore Hotel. The enigma of the 13th floor continues to haunt every guest that opens the red carpet entrance. Yet, every suit and tie, downtown walking, person turns around and stares at the young person that just walked in. What is an individual like you doing in this part of town? Umm...did you leave you Pardo at home? What kind of shoes are those? How gastly? The young misunderstood individual stopped on a half step and noticed the silent noise that just to over the room. Grab onto the tie on the wasit part of the shorts and yelled "F96K You!"---

Ever think that the things that happen aren't very meaningful and full of Sh9t! Or is it just me...Are my thoughts really that dark or is it rare to have a non positive thought? If I was one of those poeple with a great talent. Would that make me happy? I meet people at a ratio of 2:7 days of the week. Its up to me to keep in touch and run around this crazy town.

Is every relationship doomed? Thats why divorce rates are so large and the amounts of unhappy people in the world is way to large to even think about. Oh, and by the way when I say relationship I mean all kinds...

Strange isn't it to think that life is really what you make of it. That you're not coming out alive anyways.

You're not going to make it...

2005-01-31T21:38:00.000-08:00

Song of the day today is:
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening - GC S.O.S

Willy Wonka was the king of candy and hope of every girl and boy. The one that dreamed of tooth decay and cavities. The top hat with a cain, the evny, and disney persona in a grown man....

Walking down the akward hall in school while groups of those people that we will commonly refer to as "Greeks" or "the popular" greet each other with large amounts of hypocrisy. Kissed cheeks, shaked hands, waving of some kind, or a gentle smile of acknowledgement.Those are the things that some young freshmen think college/school is about. The tastlessness of social acceptance by a small fraction of people some how becomes the dream of every hopeless teenager.

You think that this type of thought is out grown by the time they reach college...I can put it this way "Two words. NO WAY " Its and endless cycle of a need that one must fill to fit in. But whats the point of fitting in?

Right?????

2005-01-26T22:37:00.000-08:00

Three Evils- Coheed
"I'll fire on on the wrong way out
on the causeway to neverwhere
dear my friends
in the time we've spent forever after beyond
this when will our nightmare ever end?
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...forever you will learn"

Ever feel like your daily life is the nightmare you just woke from??? Like you don't know where your going or what to do...But you just do it anyway...Wake up and go into daily routine...AH! but you know you can't let the nightmare win cuase F*&K its our damn nightmare and I'm runnin' dis show bitch! ^_^

Randomness of Today

2005-01-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

Ever think of the things that go wrong that should have gone right in the back of your endless "spotless mind"...Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind great flim great story...Imagen if you could forget those poeple or those events that scar your mind forever. Would that be cool? Not that of course things don't come easy the alchemist thought of equal trade might step foot...NOT that something like this could really happen but I wish I could erase the memories of the stupid life-forms that I've met in my lifetime. Which happens not to be very long =_=; but non the less I continue on...

Someone once said, later put in the Van Wilder flim, and a writer that goes by the namem of Warren Miller "Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive."....See, whether or not those are words to live by isn't my thing. But the truth, is the truth, and you can't deny it...Although most people do like to deny as much as they like, but once its brought to the light you're just "screwed"...

Today isn't runing as smooth as it should but what am I going to do. I can only write what I think but hope to learn from myself in the process...

Life it needs directions

2005-01-17T22:27:00.000-08:00

"Yeah, we all die young
We need no victims in this
Flaccid generation
We need no victims in this
Put us in, put us in submission
Bring a life, wanna fight your system
Won't back down till the conversation ends" -LR

Don't you feel like all the things that you thought you knew just kinda washed out the window....well at least there at things that you know for sure...We die, we live, and life of course can be sumed out in three words "it goes on"...but other than that everything else we just kinda play by ear...everyone wants to meet there soulmate I just want to make good friends that don't lie...even though the soulmate idea ain't that bad but I don't think that its going to be easy....people don't grow on trees they pop out of vigina, love is can't be bought or stole (really quite a shame), and things are never what they seem.....

SUBURBIA

2005-01-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

Sat around observing suburbia in what could most commonly be referred to as my neighborhood. Its sad to think that common suburbia could be the way of life that people wish for...Stepping out of there homes only to find closed doors with small amount of trees...Its almost like small rain forests are growing in front of every home...The cars all arrive at around the same time few people leave at night and during the day the lots are empty...Its like a bad Jim Carrey movie..."Hey I'm Turman GET ME OUT!"...Like that'll happen =_=;...But one can only hope that somewhere out there anti-suburbia exists and life would be different....See but then again the grass is always greener on the other side....T_T

Here we go

2005-01-17T12:43:00.000-08:00

Take a look at yourself and all the things that just never work out...Like Christmas and the stupid 14th of Feb. that just crashed in your room...It feels as if things are crazy sometimes its just rollcoster ride that you need to take in order to have some fun if you motion sickness it just isn't going to work out...Wipe the blood stains of you clothes with Tide you should be okay anyway til the day comes that you 6 feet under and its ended with out notice...Most people under estimate the idea of the possiblty your choices can create...Okay I'll be back when I have some more time to think...

Its Just Ordinary

2005-01-15T16:23:00.000-08:00

Permanent Airline
Still looking for a map
For something to guide my way
but all I find are sad delays
Like airport airplanes
"This is the Captain speaking--
sorry the inconvenience--
but your flight has been delayed again..."
Still looking only to find whats in my way

Beings like flight attendants
they only get up like dolls
telling you how to escape in case of danger
"Please give me you attention in case of an emergancy--
I'm hear to let you know that when this plane gets moving--
your in deep shit..."

Sitting with the seat leaned back
Pondering the dreams to have,
the hopes I've made
Wishing there were directions
Personal assitance to accomplish my dreams,
hopes into reality

Every time my flights delayed
Or paused in mid air
I tend to ignore the loud speaker disappointed
With this permanent airline
LIFE

SO full of IT!!!!

2005-01-15T13:52:00.000-08:00

Life is full of it you know....Think about the countless amounts of times that you come across people and then they just kinda fade out like a bad habit...or how many times you looked out your car window while driving in traffic thinking "WHY WHY am I in this hell hole....stupid city of morons...GRRRR!!!!!!"...Only to find that you yourself are in fact part of this strange race, the human race that wants the anwsers to everything to come out in a drive thur window (opps sorry thats America)...I'll come back to this topic later its not like anyones reading ^_^